Tuesday, 5 June 2012


the last few days have been long and slow. my head and my body are tired. each morning when i first open my eyes i want to close them again. maybe if i sleep the day away, tomorrow i will feel better.

it started just before we left the cottage. getting ready to pack everything back into the van filled me with dread, and the reality was no better. i was emotional and exhausted, shouting at the kids when they got under my feet. they feel it too. doll begged not to leave, even though we have come to grandma and stevie, one of our favourite spots. the twelve days we were still passed so fast and we were leaving them behind with no concrete plan for the next ten.   

jubilee sunday was wet and grey much like i feel. we went into christchurch park to cheer ourselves up but the fair and the stalls were deserted. the town was not much better, soaking wet cut outs of the queen and dripping bunting but empty of life. in felixstowe we hid from the rain under the pier and ate chips. the children ran in and out of the splashing waves. i long to be carefree and paddle in the sea.

monday afternoon the sun was shining, i felt i should step back out into the park and join my family, see their smiling faces as they listen to the bagpipes and watch the parade. once i do, once i walk with the sun on my face i feel the fog starting to lift.

today, the last day of the bank holiday, we are going back to beach. come rain or shine we will drink hot tea and eat sandwiches in the pink hut. tomorrow everyone will return to work and i am still not sure where we will go.

it can not be for much longer now, i am ready to go home.. wherever home may be...


  1. Hang in there babe, sometimes it takes being lost to find the best places you might have ignored before! x

  2. There will always be tea for you at my house. It isn't big enough to have you stay but if you need me, I'll listen as long as you talk.
    All my love x

  3. thank you girly girls.. feeling brighter every day.. i am surrounded by so much lovin!