fairyland

what a week of excitement and nerves and sunshine. we have filled our lungs with the countryside everyday since we left london. we have walked and run and climbed and jumped partly thanks to the clearys and high lodge in thetford forest and partly due to the wonderfully hot weather. we have sat in pub gardens and parks and fields and even found time for a swim. but best of all we visited a place i could only of dreamed of living and it may even be a real possibility.

we went to see our potential new home in the middle of last week and i have thought of nothing since. the place itself, the woodlands, the dell, the buildings including a huge old (and in much need of renovation) greenhouse were beautiful. the couple who live on site and run the place with such drive and vision were fantastic and interesting. i love it. i love what they do, what they strive to do. it is everything i could of imagined and more. 

after falling so much in love with it and them i could only hope that they felt they could bare us enough to put with us. i worried constantly that i had been too distacted by the children (and my own excitment) and not chatted enough, not asked or answered enough questions. we emailed they the next day to propose that we camp there for a few nights as a sort of get to know one another, see how it might work trial. it took three of the most anxious days of my life for them to get back to us. i knew they had a busy weekend and the weather was glorious no one was sat indoors at a computer execpt me. checking and checking my emails until it finally arrived. yes, it said yes. camping is a fine idea. 

what huge relief and excitment. this is it. i feel it. i imagine myself there. i imagine my family there. living in fairyland. 

the show yurt

we are stopping off on our grand tour for a posh week in kensington. papajoes little bro runs a lovely pub  http://www.thequeensarmskensington.co.uk/ and we are staying in his flat. we even have tickets to see swan lake on ice at the royal albert hall. how classy! 

we have taken the opportunity to go to loads of museums and to finally visit the show yurt. it is the size we are thinking about so it felt really important to go and stand inside it and really get a feel for the space and the light. also it was built in mongolia. we have been strongly advised to buy an english yurt because of the wood quality so it was interesting to see the wear on one that is six years old. there is a substantial difference in price between local and imported and we need to be sure that we make the right choice. buying local will mean that we need to buy smaller but we are talking about our home so it needs to be able to stand up to some wear and tear.

i have been excited about this post for weeks, i was all ready to write about how positive i felt, how the space was great and the kids loved it but i'm afraid i have a slightly different story to tell.

it was definitely smaller than i had prepared myself for.. i know, i know.. it was always going to be tiny. when you plan to live in a space with a 19ft diameter you are not expecting a palace but when i have tried to imagine the space it was bigger in my head. the walls were lower than i expected, i think that is what did it. we have measured out the floor space before but the low walls enclosed around it shrank the space. the light was fantastic though. i had assumed that with only the small window around the wheel in the roof it would be dark and even the white walls would appear dull but it was wonderful. doll and i secretly planned hanging our disco ball from the centre to fill the space with pink speckled light. mind you, that was the only sense i got out of either of the big kids the whole time we were there. they clambered all over the poor ladies authentic yurt furniture and threw stones about the garden. i resorted to bribing them with chocolate to keep them quiet. 

i came away feeling unsure about what we had signed ourselves up for.. my first real doubts that this was a good idea. after a cup of tea with an old friend, a fantastic burger and a good night sleep (thank you baby, two nights in a row with only one wake!) i am getting on top of it. it is just a lot to process, being homeless and drifting is harder and more tiring than i ever imagined and on top of that we have big, tough decisions to make and so much organising to do. london is a very stressful city, i long for the open flat fens, where you can stretch and think. not long now, roll on monday. two weeks settled, sites to visit, friends to catch up with.. i can't wait.     

bongo a go go

i am taking a quick break from packing the golf the last time ever.. not because our road trip is over but because we bit the bullet and bought a bigger car. quite fed up with squeezing five people, three car seats, a enormous suitcase and all our other nonsense in to our fairly small vw we were swept up by the madness of ebay and have bought a bongo. we have a mammoth drive tomorrow to go and check it is up to scratch before handing over every last one of our pennies. the kiddos are so excited that they will be able to sleep in the pop up top and i must admit that i am too! 

our other super exciting news is that we (keep everything crossed now) potentially have three sites to go and visit when we next find ourselves in east anglia. nothing is definite but, people seem to want to talk to us and that is an amazing start. i am feeling really positive.

i won't say any more now i don't want to jinx it except... 

go me and go my lovely family things are starting to happen!!   

advertising me..

this week we have started to compile a list of interesting sites and i have started to write a small advert selling.. well.. me. when my mum suggested it a few weeks back i acknowledged that it was a good idea and then went on to completely ignore her advice and do nothing. turns out that is was not just a good idea but totally necessary. when writing an email to someone you are hoping may consider having you living on their land you need to sell yourself.

now, i think that papajoe and me are fairly likable and have some practical and useful skills between us but putting that into words has proven quite difficult. we are a hodge podge of random things and that is hard to quantify. our skills not necessarily connected and our interests wide and varied, i think that makes us interesting and potentially useful to have around but i am worried people will think we are scatty and unfocused. what we are, i am discovering more and more, is very determined. something that was just a pipe dream this time last year is becoming closer and closer to a reality. 

these first few days together have made me realise what this has all been for.. home made soup and long walks all of us together come rain or shine. 

papajoes last day

the last time i sat at a computer for any length of time i was settled very comfortably into an arm chair in the rolling hills of gloucestershire. we have since been to a rain soaked hampshire and our now hidden in a corner of the fantastic tourist destination.. cheddar gorge. 

despite the rain we had a wonderful week with granny knickers and the boys. big boy and baby had their first trip to the cinema, and we discovered a beautiful playground and some wooden animals at alice holt forest http://www.forestry.gov.uk/aliceholt. 

a momentous occasion has manged to slip by us barely noticed in all the hullabaloo of moving a family around the country. papajoe finished work. 

it was a day i expected to be full of tears of excitement and jumping up and down but was in fact, at least for the kids and i, a day of miserable traffic and poo explosions. so after a miserable journey we arrived at the worlds first garden city the kids ate and slept and i, although hoping to join papajoe and some work friends in the hotel bar sat in the corridor with my book. he came back at three in the morning, i was long asleep.

and now we are here.. some wonderful fenland friends came to visit and fill our first two days here with noise and thoughts of home. seeing them has made me long for east anglia in a way i never thought i would.

i am starting to tire now of this open endedness, this feeling of going nowhere. we need to get things moving this week.. maybe some more concrete plans will create a more settled feeling. now papajoe is at home we should have more time for thinking and organising.

the money issue...

i didn't want to do it but i think it is time to talk about the money.

the whole thing started because we wanted to save money but we found that we couldn't. there was no where to cut back. after rent and council tax and other bills all our money went on food and kids activities. we budgeted carefully, planned our meals, used washable nappies but there was nothing extra.. we were only just surviving month to month. this was made worse by papajoes sucky job. he worked ridiculous hours, including weekends and evening and was often away. but they didn't seem to appreciate the effort he went to, the time with us that he had given up. they expected, in fact demanded more and more. because we couldn't save any money we were stuck. maybe when our contract ran out in april we should of moved to a smaller house and let him carry on his horrid job for another year or two while we saved but we couldn't face it. after baby was born and we, finally after two years, had papajoe at home for a while we realised how much we had missed him and how much we needed him with us. it was then that we made up our minds that we couldn't carry on, we needed to get him out.   

my grampy had offered us some of our inheritance early in order to start us off on this mad adventure and we have managed to put together a very small sum from the sale of our furniture and the return of all (can't quite believe it.. big boy spent at least 12 of the 18 months we were there scribbling on walls and radiators) of our deposit from the house. but when he sadly passed away last month we found ourselves in the awkward position of having to raise the inheritance question earlier than was perhaps appropriate. i don't want to take away from the sadness of his loss. he was loved dearly by us all and will be missed intensely but we are relying on his money to be able to move forward. the money has gone into probate and we are now waiting to hear when it will be released and how much it will be.  

the fear of course is that we don't know how long it will take. that we will use up the small amount of money that we have scraped together waiting and drifting from place to place. papajoe has two weeks left of work and we want to be celebrating and moving forward. but we are not really sure where to go. it is the first time i have felt really nervous about this project and what will happen to us.

easter break

the whole family is together at mums (even my big little bro) so made a decision not to think about the big move and just enjoy the long easter weekend. sadly it didn't work out quite that way.. had some advice from a friend of ours with regards to wood and that has thrown up some serious questions about where we buy our yurt. i don't know wood so the larch vs ash debate is going to take some research. any thoughts welcome..? 

there are so many companies that sell yurts, people who will teach you to make your own yurt. they range in price and size and optional extras. it is so confusing and there is so much more to think about than i ever anticipated. and it goes so much further than which wood.. will it be carved or painted? what flooring do we need? what about a stove? how many layers of felt and canvas? what about windows and a door? and that is just the yurt. that is not even touching on washing facilities, a toilet, cooking facilities, other furniture and the really big one.. location. so much for not thinking.

on a more fun note our first week without a house is nearly up and it has been a busy week for kids. baby is interacting and moving more and more everyday.. he nearly sits independently, is reaching and grabbing and even tried his first taste of banana. doll is writing her own name and can tell me things about the ancient egyptians i never knew before. and big boy, well he is always busy and now when he wants to avoid answering questions or doing what he is told he tells you as much. "sorry mum, i'm very busy".

tomorrow we set off for the west country and the next stop on our imposing yourself on your relatives tour. it should be a fantastic week catching up with old friends, and going to familiar places. watch out bristol.